Aug 17, 2010

The prize you don't want to win

As a news junkie, I scan and read news from all over the world. I actually make a game out of it. The which-region-wins-the-most-depressing-news-of-the-day game. Unfortunately, the Middle East always wins…and by a landslide. 

Below are the three ‘most interesting’ top stories from different regions around the world today*. Play along with me here, I promise it gets a little interesting.

  • Thriving German economy gives Europe a boost - report 
  • Energy Costs Push Prices Up Sharply in Europe
  • EU Threatens KLM Over Ash Compensation

South America
  • TAM, LAN intend to form 'number one' South American airline
  • Latin America looks to the wind for its clean energy
  • The Kindness of South American Strangers

  • Australia facing possibility of hung parliament
  • Ricky Ponting: Australia can beat England 5-0 in Ashes
  • Katy Perry Crashes Prom, Performs 'Teenage Dream' In Australia

North America
  • Indians in America debate over mosque near 9/11 site
  • Tyra Banks apologises after outcry over America's Next Top Model
  • BP's Gulf Well: One Of America's Biggest Oil Fields?

  • S.Africa's Aspen to buy Sigma drugs arm for $804 mln
  • Journalists campaign against press curbs 
  • Naomi Campbell must apologise to the children of Africa

Most (if not all) of the top stories from around the world could not be more mundane or soft, don’t you agree?

Enters the Middle East. 
  • US More Likely to Bomb Iran
  • The War Against Iran Begins
  • Mistrust Frustrates US Effort to Get Israelis, Palestinians Talking
  • Israel to reject new peace talks 
  • 5 killed in car bomb explosion in northern Iraq
  • Gaza future vague five years after unilateral Israeli disengagement
  • Bombing Iran 

The Middle East, ladies and gentlemen; the world’s leading and only source of negative, depressing and terrifying news.

And we wonder why people are scared of this region! Leave it to us to spice up the world’s news. What’s fascinating is that our headlines have been the same for years. They really haven’t changed much, have they? They will probably remain the same until the next ice age.

We have been reading about the Palestinian–Israeli talks for decades now. Not a day goes by without reading about a tragic suicide bomb in Iraq. Every day we read about the increased tensions in the Middle East. Alas, the world remains amused with out stories.

We just have a knack for creating and spreading negativity to every corner of the world. If we have positive stories to share, it rarely goes beyond the walls of this region; or the world chooses to ignore them. On the other hand, our disastrous news, get the cover pages.

Seriously, when was the last time you heard a depressing story from Finland or Belgium or Brazil or Malaysia or Denmark or Cyprus or…the list goes on. How come there are no war predictions in other parts of the world? I think Canada’s most read negative stories of the year are RIM BlackBerry fiasco and temperatures rising to 36 Celsius. That’s it.  

Don’t you think it’s about time the ‘negative news’ crown was handed over? We have been on that dreadful thrown for decades. We should be able to let go by now.

Well one good thing about our news is that we provide the world’s media with enough content to keep the media industry alive. I honestly cannot imagine the news without horrendous stories from the Middle East. We also provide the world with entertainment. They watch and laugh. We are a nonstop action-horror-comedy blockbuster.

This experiment works flawlessly 99% of the time. Try it yourself.

P.S The post was written at 2am and published at 9:40am.


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