Saudi through the eyes of American Dad

I am a huge fan of Seth MacFarlane’s animated series. While Family Guy is his most popular work, his best and funniest, in my opinion, is American Dad.

One of the funniest episodes on American Dad is the two-part ‘Stan of Arabia’.

Stan Smith, a CIA agent, upsets his boss. Instead of being fired, Stan gets relocated with his family to Saudi Arabia. Read episode summary here.

The episode aired in 2005 but I watched it again today and thought it deserves a mention on Arabianism for its depiction of Saudi Arabia.

While MacFarlane’s depiction is not 100% accurate, it does highlight several stereotypes and America’s perception of the Kingdom. Instead of boring you with text, I will illustrate in images from the episode. 

A Saudi man pampered by his three wives.

Stan's wife, Francine, arrested by Saudi Virtue Police for going out in public without a man.

A Saudi man's Harem.

Stan, a conservative, adapts to Saudi culture. One of the best quotes by Stan is in this scene: "America does not want to enslave all Arabs...just the ones who have oil. Praise Allah." 

In Saudi, men are happy, women are not. 

Stan gets a second wife to help Francine with the 'cleaning and cooking'. He can't pronounce her name. He calls her Thundercat.

After dancing half-naked in public, Francine and the Smith family are sentenced to stoning for being infidels. 

A Saudi Prince 'wasta' saves the day.

MacFarlane is known for his edgy racists gags and for pushing the envelope. If you have a good sense of humor, you will find both episodes entertaining and hilarious. MacFarlane takes shots at both Saudis and Americans. 

Naturally, Saudi media was not too thrilled with the episodes. Arab News had this to say.

When Arabism and technology collide

There’s no doubt that in this part of the world, politics plays a key role in our daily lives. Some choose to partake, others choose to avoid.

Then there are those who suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, thinking that governments are after them and watching their every move.

I refer to the editor (and I use the term loosely) of Arabcrunch.net.

Once upon a time, this website, despite its atrocious grammar, used to be a great source of technology and Arab startups information. Lately, the website has turned into a source of controversial political articles and delusional patriotism.

As a fan of the old format, I find one of his recent articles sad and alarming.

It all began when the US State Department launched the Global Entrepreneurship Program (GEP) last month.

The program targets each element required for the success of SMEs in the Arab world, offering support in areas including training and mentoring, funds, as well as networking opportunities to promote their businesses.

Somehow, this initiative, which I think is in favor of Arab entrepreneurs, was devastating for Arabcrunch.

The editor’s paranoia quickly kicked in and he published an outrageous article and a dreadful letter slamming the initiative. You can read the entire article and the embarrassing letter he sent to the US State Department here.

Excerpts from his article… 

“Then I  moved on to ask Steven from the State dep. that we do not feel comfortable at ArabCrunch to have the U.S State Department competing with us, since the US federal government has over 1 trillion USD in yearly budget, 1 million soldiers, Nukes, around 1 million CIA, FBI and other intelligent personal inside USA alone let alone the company that operates under other cover and let alone in other countries around the world.” 

“I told him we can deal with the private sector competition, but not with (the only) super power like the US government. This move is 100% against the capitalist principles and the free market ideology that the United States government has been professing around the world for decades. I also told him that this sound like Communism.” 

“After the event Greg Behrman from the US State Department and a Member of its the Policy Planning Staff, has proposed that I meet him along with Steven in order to discuss and “collaborate” off course I said NO, as the term “collaboration” meaning becoming spy in the spy world.” 

“Our sources who are close to the U.S State Department and the US Department of Defense have informed us that if you do not find ways to collaborate with the State Department they will destroy you.”

In his awkward letter to the US State Department, the editor said: 

“This makes me honestly scarred and not just worried about ArabCrunch but also about my own personal safety. US gov. is a super power, we on the other hand are Nada. Also I am not sure how would the US government feel about a small non American entity that is competing with it, in some of its projects and that is growing day after day. As i have no intention in leaving or closing ArabCrunch at any case.” 

Did you giggle? Did you shake your head in disbelief? Me too!

I read his article a couple of times. First, to understand what he was rambling about and second, to read between the lines. It’s obvious that the editor’s paranoia is purely business related. His only concern is losing to competition, as indicated in his article several times.

If he was a true hero, he would have welcomed such initiative that would give Arab SMEs and entrepreneurs worldwide support and exposure. His arguments are irrational and idiotic at best.

His article is nothing but a cheap attempt to gain the sympathy and support of Arab - and mainly Muslim- readers by evoking their emotions, again, under false patriotism, to gain more readership and popularity for his 'business'.

Once the article got published, several people commented. I was one of them.

Following my comment, which he obviously hated, he quickly replied and insinuated I was ‘funded’ by the US and work with the US State Department. I wouldn’t have expected anything less from him.

The article now has 46 comments; some were in support of the editor while others criticized him for being way out of line with his article. My favorite comment was:

Disgusted Friend  |  August 4th, 2010 at 1:49 AM #

Who the hell do you think you are? Do you really think that your tiny ArabCrunch has been really doing any mentoring in the market?

You did not even get your tiny user-base in organic growth, all users have registered based on your personal request over and over again, which was fun for a while but became annoying later.

So I would advise you to stop wasting your life and our time reading such stupid articles like this one.

If there was a freedom I would sue you for extreme stupidity and exaggeration, and trying to mislead your readers by involving proof without citing your sources.

The US Department are doing this work to actually create and encourage entrepreneurship while you’re doing it to fill your wallet, so who are you trying to fool with this patriotism stuff?

As they’ve said in the comments, create a personal blog or something if you feel like ranting. 

Following a series of negative comments, the editor updated his post with this disclaimer:

Update: ArabCrunch has positive opinion about the American people and nothing against any nation, in case you got mixed up.

My advice to the editor is to try and be an impartial reporter and to go back to what made his site popular in the first place, technology related news. Leave politics out of it. Otherwise, you will definitely lose readership to competition and judging from the comments, you already did. 

Not once have I read a political or religious article on Engadget, TechCrunch or Gizmodo. Only in the Arab world, politics and religion invade every aspect of our lives, including a technology website.

P.S. For the love of god, get an English editor or proofread your articles before publishing them. 

Where do you live, man?

Watching American TV teaches you many things about the US, its culture and its history (history?). Take Political Correctness (PC) for example. Without my addiction to movies and shows, I wouldn’t have heard of the term.

According to Wikipedia, PC denotes language, ideas, policies, and behavior seen as seeking to minimize social and institutional offense in occupational, gender, racial, cultural, sexual orientation, disability, and age-related contexts.

Groovy!

But much like any ideology in the good ol’ US of A, extremism takes center stage. If interested in hilarious examples of political correctness, Google is your friend.  

For kicks, let’s see how some of these terms would fit in the Middle East. 

Did you know it is politically incorrect to say ‘black coffee’? The correct term is ‘without milk’, racist! Well that memo certainly did not reach baristas in the Arab world.  Every time I order Americano at Starbucks, the barista asks: “Black?” Should I correct him? Does he really care? More importantly, do I really care to invest in such conversation? “I’ll have it black, please.” 

The politically correct term for a midget is ‘little person’ or ‘vertically challenged’. The translation of both in Arabic is terribly insulting. I wouldn't dare blurt them out to find myself surrounded by a gang of midgets punching the butter out of my nuts. (Get it? It’s because they can’t punch higher, says the person writing about political correctness.)

It is politically incorrect to say garbage-man. The correct term is ‘sanitation engineer’. (Okay, was your reaction ‘WTF’, too?)

Arab reaction to Sanitation Engineer

 Knock Knock

“Who is it?”

“The sanitation engineer.”

“Is there something wrong with the building?”

“No, I’m just here to collect the garbage.”

“Ya akhul sharm...Zabbel wo 3amilli 7alak mhandes?” (You are a garbage-man posing as an engineer, you SOB?)

It is politically incorrect to say Merry Christmas. The correct term is ‘Happy Holidays’. Can’t you just picture it? Call it 'happy holidays' in the US and you are a politically correct liberal. Call it 'happy holidays' in the Middle East and you are an extremist. I will stick with Merry Christmas, thank you. 

But enough with the American examples.  

The idea behind this post stemmed from a tweet I thought was politically incorrect. The tweet was by fellow Arab on my Twitter timeline. When I argued, his reply was “where do you live, man?” 

He does have a point. I mean let’s face it, in the Arab world, the term ‘politically correct’ does not exist. We grew up politically incorrect and we were never corrected. PC was never part of our tradition or upbringing. In fact, the more politically incorrect you are, the more chuckles you get.

And am I that of an idealist to enforce an American ideology ( criticized by many Americans, mind you) on people in this part of the world? I certainly am not and to each his own, I say.

For ‘educational’ purposes, let me share with you some of the politically incorrect and racist terms in our part of the world.

Disclaimer: Do not take offense in the list below. It is nothing but stereotypes and many, including myself, do not condone such terms. Not all Arabs are politically incorrect.

• Maid of any nationality = Sri Lankan (common term in Lebanon)
• African = Slave/Negro 
• People from Al-Said (Egypt), Al-Tafila (Jordan), Al-Khalil (Palestine), Homs (Syria) = Dim-witted
• Lebanese man (as viewed by other Arab nationalities) = Effeminate accent, showoff
• Lebanese girl (as viewed by other Arab nationalities) = Easy, plastic and materialistic
• Jordanian man = Grouchy, blatant
• Jordanian women = Butch accent
• Palestinian = Bebsi  (Pepsi)
• Palestinian in Lebanon = Dark skinned refugee, country destroyer
• Syrian in Lebanon = Labor, undercover intelligence agent
• Lebanese in Syria = Cheap clothes shopper
• Kuwaiti = Rich, arrogant
• Saudi men = Rich, deprived
• Emarati = Rich, lazy
• Saudi women = Ninjas
• Indian man in the GCC = Cheapskate, Hindi (said mockingly)
• Westerner in the GCC = Condescending, loser in his country
• GCC organizations preferring westerners = Inferiority complex
• Russian women in UAE = Khow much?
• Filipino = Gay
• Journalist in the UAE = Copy & paste, spoiled, lazy
• Animal rights activists = Idiots
• Single women working abroad = Spinsters
• Single adults moving out of their parent’s house (applies to males and females) = Whores
• Gay = Abnormal
• Fat = Cow, mule
• Seeing a psychiatrist = Crazy
• Arab professional belly dancer = Prostitute
• Shakira belly dancing = Artist (the double standards in this region, sigh!)

If you think of other terms, leave a comment.